


God Blessed The Broken Road

by muchofeels



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Chaptered, Complete, Human Castiel, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, John Winchester Being an Asshole, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-21
Updated: 2015-02-18
Packaged: 2018-03-08 13:46:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3211352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/muchofeels/pseuds/muchofeels
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean Winchester does not believe in God, in faith, or love at first sight. Castiel Novak might just be the one to change his mind.<br/>(I am very bad at summaries)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I Set Off On A Narrow Way

**Author's Note:**

> Basically, this is the first chapter of my first chapter fic. This is very stressful to post, but my best friend convinced me to do it, so, here I am... posting this.. It is loosely based on "God Blessed The Broken Road" by Rascal Flatts... hence the name... Also this is really bad... I am sorry.

The year Dean Winchester turned 23, he got into the habit of staring at his ceiling and counting the fan’s rotation while he contemplated life and weighed how worthless he was until he finally slipped into a fitful unconsciousness.

That pattern didn’t phase his deadbeat father, but worried his little brother, Sam.

Sam was in college, very smart. He had his life on track. He was everything Dean wasn’t which is exactly how he raised him after their mum died and dad basically turned his back on the kids. Like a father, Dean worried that Sam would get hurt, that someone would hurt Sam–regular parental worries, except Dean was at most eight. But like the child he was, Dean was terrified that Sammy would want to go places with him and would then witness him making the childish, selfish mistakes and follow suit. However, Dean apparently did something right as Sam was at Stanford studying law with a beautiful girlfriend he called Jess. Dean had met her once and couldn’t have found a better match for his little brother if he had hand picked the girl. She made his Sammy truly happy which was all he really wanted in life.

Or so he thought.

As the years crawled by and the more romantic comedies he pretended not to see, the more he wished he had a life to share with someone. It wasn’t a nagging want, however, it was just present enough to itch the corner of the eldest Winchester’s mind and drive him just slightly crazy.

So, he began trying to date. 

Keyword happened to be “trying.” Things didn’t usually make it past the first night. The girls he went out with weren’t… right for him and he just couldn’t explain why.

However, there were two girls—women really—lasted more than a month. Cassie who was about four months which was a big step for Dean when he was 24. And then Lisa who lasted a year. In all honesty, if not for Ben, Lisa’s son, Dean isn’t all too sure he would’ve stayed that long. 

But they were both good for him. Dean realized that he did in fact want to be a father, but not sure on the… on the married to a woman part. Which worried him.  
He was supposed to go through the “questioning phase” in college. He was now 24. What was making him such a late bloomer in his confusion?

Dean didn’t dwell on the subject for too long. The subject gave him a headache and usually ended up drowning out the thumping of his head in alcohol until he passed out.

At the age of 25, Dean had almost lost hope on finding love. Yeah, he thought he was washed up at that young age. But he just couldn’t see into the future.

 

Dean had never been a man of faith. Quite frankly, he could care less if there was some big man in the sky who made some fate up for everyone. But when he first laid eyes on that man in the bar, he thought for the first time in his life that there may be a reason for everything in the world. 

He walked in there to meet Sam and Jess; it was Dean’s 26th birthday. Sam and Jess had gotten there before him and when he walked through the double doors it felt like time slowed down. In that moment, before the other man had even acknowledged Dean, Dean understood what people meant when they used the term “love at first sight.”

The other man was seated at the bar on a wooden stool, a tan trench coat resting on the counter next to him and he was clad in a tight black suit. His legs were twisted awkwardly around each other like a pretzel and he fingers tapped the glass, of what Dean assumed was Scotch, nervously. His eyes were cast down to the rim of the glass and he never looked up, not even when he tapped the rim twice signifying he wanted another helping of alcohol. Dean could only see half the others face, but his side view was enough for him to his that his eyes were a shade of blue so pure that they were glowing in the dim lighting of the bar, and his lips took on a light shade of pink that matched with his natural blush. His hair was messy, like he just rolled out of bed. In a nutshell, he was so breathtaking it physically hurt. 

A whistle pulled Dean out of the daze he was in. He turned toward the sound and found a smirking Jess and a confused Sam who was motioning for his older brother to join them.

Dean stole another glance at the man at the bar who happened to be looking his way. 

They locked eyes and Dean felt his heart shake and rattle in his rib cage and he thought that if this is how he reacted when they made eye contact, how could he ever expect to talk to this guy without fainting?

The other man shyly looked away and Dean went to sit with his family.

“Interested?” Jess giggled when Dean, who still had his eyes glued on the man at the bar, took his seat.

“I…”

“I think we can all agree that that’s a yes.” Sam said after Dean trailed off.

The young couple laughed and Dean scoffed in hopes of shutting them up.

“Do either of you know his name?” Dean questioned, nodding over to the mystery man who shot him a shy smile.

Dean blushed and dropped his eyes.

“Why don’t you go ask him?” Jess mused.

Dean shook his head violently. He may be a top when it came to courting women, but with men he was such a bottom. If he didn’t look so good submitting to someone, it might almost be sad.

So Dean’s birthday outing consisted of three beers, laughing, dares to talk to the guy at the bar, and so many stolen glances, along with eye contact and smiles given to one another.

At the end of the night however, Dean did not work up the nerve to go introduce himself. So shortly after Sam and Jess packed up their things and left, Dean began to leave too.

He got to his car, leaning against it and heavily contemplated going back in there and introducing himself. But insecurity had set itself deep in Dean’s bones and only weighed him down more now.

Thankfully, before he got into his car, the door to the bar swung open and there stood the man from the bar.

Now that he was standing up, Dean could see that the other man’s suit was just slightly too big and his trench coat hung over his hands. Dean couldn’t help thinking that it was one of the cutest things he had ever seen. 

“Wait!” called the man jogging across the street.

Dean laughed. How could he not wait for one of God’s most beautiful creations?

“Hi.” Said the other man who was just slightly shorter than Dean.

“Hi.” Dean somehow managed to choke out.

“I’m Castiel Novak and I don’t know why I let you walk out of there without my number in your cell.”

“Well Cas, can I call you Cas?” Cas nodded. “Well Cas, I’m Dean Winchester and I was thinking the same thing.”

Cas smiled and held his phone out to Dean. "Here," he said. "Put number in."

Dean gladly took it, surprised that his fingers weren’t shaking as he wrapped them around the android device, and typed his number in. He handed it back to Cas.

The slightly shorter male took his phone and smiled down at the screen. 

“Thanks,” he began. “I will uh, I will be texting you.”

Dean put on his most endearing smile. “I’ll be waiting.”

Cas smirked and put the corner of his cell to his cheek and turned on his heels. “I’ll make your wait worthwhile.” 

The Winchester blushed furiously as he watched Cas walk away, not even giving Dean a second glance.

“Damn..” Dean mumbled to himself as he got into his car.

 

He texted a quick message to Sam, informing him of what just happened, and when his phone buzzed moments later, he was too busy turning his car on and flipping through the radio to reply.

A song came on that he thought perfectly described the situation.

God Blessed The Broken Road.

Once again, Dean had never been a man of faith, not even a true believer in love at first sight or faith, but Cas, he thought, was going to make him a believer.


	2. Hoping I Would Find True Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And finally, Dean hears from Cas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is super short. I apologize, friends.

Two days had gone by since the bar and Dean still had not received a message from Cas.

This discouraged him greatly as he thought that the two had sorta hit it off in a way.

But right before he was going to give up on Cas, he got a call from a number he didn’t recognize.

His heart rate picked up like it did when he first laid eyes on Cas and his stomach was in his throat, crushing his vocal cords and cutting off air supply.

He hit “answer” much too quickly which left Cas saying “Hello…? Hello…?” into the receiver a few times before Dean greeted him back.

“Hi-i.” He coughed, honestly shocked that he found his voice.

“Hey, this is Cas. We met at the bar the other night.”

“How could I forget? Ya know… I was beginning to think that you weren’t going to call.” said Dean.

Cas laughed a little and responded with, “Well I had to let a couple of days pass, I didn’t want you to think that I was desperate.”

“If it was me who had your number I would’ve called you on my way home.” Dean said honestly.

“Well ya see,” Cas began. “that’s the difference between you and I.”

“What’s that?”

“I have just a shred of dignity. Unlike you, Dean Winchester.”

“Oh is that it?”

“It is.”

Dean giggled, liking the sass that Cas brought to the table.

“Cas, would you like to-”

“Yes.” Cas interrupted. “Sorry, I should’ve let you finish. I just- I thought you’d never ask.”

“Well I mean, you called me. I expected you to ask me out.”

“Oh shut up.” Dean laughed.

Cas giggled in response.

“So, whaddya say this Friday at 6:30 at Little Paris?”

“Ah, you read my mind. That’s one of my favourite restaurants.”

Dean was beaming at that comment. Little Paris was where Sam took Jess on their first date. Sam said it was the most romantic places he could think of. And judging by the candle lit patio Dean often saw when he walked by, he agreed.

“Good. Keep in contact throughout the week?”

Cas agreed, but under one condition. “We mustn’t get to know each other too well.”

“Why?” questioned Dean.

“I’d like to get to know you in person. I wanna see the way your cheeks turn red and the way you look down.”

Dean smiled and blushed.

“Like right now. I wanna know what you look like.”

“You’re leaving me speechless, Cas.” Dean mumbled.

“Eh, nah. That’s what you do to me though.”

“We aren’t 17, man. Stop making me squirm like a school boy.”

“That’s my specialty though.”

“Oh?”

“Mmmhmm.”

“But in all seriousness, how old are you?”

“Not to worry, Mr. Winchester, I am completely legal.”

“So you’re either barely 18 or 40. Got it.”

“Okay, okay, you got me. I’m 95 years old and I just use really good lotion to get rid of the wrinkles.”

“Dermatologists must hate you.”  
“Oh, they do.” Cas laughed. “But no, I’m 25.”

Dean let out a relieved sigh. “Good. I just turned 26. It was actually my birthday the night we met.”

“Was I pretty good present?”

Dean laughed. “You’ve got yourself up on a pedestal, huh?”

“Nah,” Cas started. “I’m a grown man who still has self esteem issues and he deals with it by coming off as a self absorbed asshole.”

“Well, until you said that I was totally buying the act.”

“Yeah, I’ve been practicing those lines since I was maybe 15. I’ve had a lot of time to rehearse them.”

Dean wanted to ask about it. “Is this something I’ll find out over dinner?

The other line was so quiet that Dean pulled his phone away from his ear to check and see if the other party had hung up.

“I didn’t mean to offend you. I’m sorry.” Dean said quietly, hoping he didn’t blow it.

“No, you didn’t. It’s just- You have to be on like, level 10 in my mind to unlock my tragic backstory.”

“Fair enough.”

And for the rest of the week, one of the pair would call the other at around 7:00 every night after their shower.

They would talk about their day. How much Cas hated working in the flower shop, all most of the customers were rude and he was underpaid. They spoke about how Dean wanted to quit working as a waiter at some stupid restaurant as he was tired of getting his ass slapped by customers.

Nothing was really off limits- except for anything about their sexual preferences, their backstory, or anything that wasn’t on the surface of their personality.

The two would talk until one fell asleep and that was one of the most comforting things to Dean.

And then the day finally came.


	3. Dean Knows Nothing of Dating Really

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning of his date with Cas, it dawns on Dean that his knowledge of classic rock and cars far exceeds that of dating. So, knowing it's the best decision, he calls Jess.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is incredibly short, which is why I'm uploading the next part right after this is posted.

Dean didn’t know about Cas, but he spent most of the day worrying about to wear and how to act. In fact, he got so flustered, that he called Jess.

“Dean, are you serious?” She laughed.

“As a heart attack.” He responded with not even a hint of humor in his voice.

Jess heard his tone and extinguished any lasting amusement. "Do you need me to come over?”

“If you could, I would appreciate it.”

“Give me maybe 30, okay? Sam is still asleep and I have to walk Darcy.”

Dean nodded although Jess couldn’t see him and said a quiet "thank you" before hanging up.

**  
  
**

Thirty minutes later, as she’d promised, Jess showed up to Dean’s little apartment with a look on her face that was somewhere between pity and amusement.

“It’s not funny.” Dean commented when he opened the door.

The blonde laughed. “I never said it was.”

“Your look. You think it is.”

“No, I swear. I think it’s cute that you’re going through all this trouble for him.”

Dean looked to Jess and held her gaze for a moment. “You think so?”

“Of course!”

He smiled.

“Now come on. Show me what you’ve got and I’ll help you decide.”

Dean escorted his brother’s girlfriend to his closet which was decked in nothing but plaid button ups, black and grey v-necks, and slim fit jeans.

“Don’t you have anything else?” Jess commented as she passed by the third hunter green plaid three quarter sleeve she saw.

Dean shrugged. “I like it.”

“No, your dad liked it and you wanted to make him proud.”

Dean was silent and looked down. The no response prompted Jess to turn around. When she saw him hunched over, his head down, she knew she’d struck one of the only nerves Dean Winchester had.

“Dean, I- I’m sorry. That was out of line.”

He looked up with that fake smile he wore so well. “You’re not wrong.” he said with a forced laugh, his eyes taking on a far away look that told Jess he had to be remembering something from his childhood.

“Are yo-”

“It’s fine! Sorry… I’m sorry.” He immediately apologized for snapping.

Jess smiled at him. “It’s alright. Here,” she held her arm out for him. “Let’s go to the mall so we can find you something nice to wear tonight.”

Dean linked arms with her and walked towards his door, which he promptly locked, and then they set out on a fashion adventure that Dean knew he would probably regret.  
  


**~  
  
  
**

And regret it he did. Jess and him left his apartment at 12:00 p.m exactly. And didn’t return until 5:25.

“Okay, go!” Dean said as he tried to shoo her out.

“Oh, no. I gotta make sure you pair things together right.”

“I’m a big boy, I can do it.”

“Says the man who called me at 11:00 this morning in a panic over his first date.”

Dean sighed in defeat. “Fine, you can stay.”

“I was going to stay even if you didn’t give your approval.”

Dean giggled and walked back to his room to change.

 

**~**

 

“I feel stupid.” He moaned.

“You can’t look that bad.”

“I do!”

“Come out, Dean. Let me see.”

Very reluctantly, the eldest Winchester waddled out of his room.

Jess covered her mouth. “You look dashing.”

“No.”

“Dean Winchester, go look in the mirror.”

When Dean looked at himself, he was clad in slim black jeans, a black v-neck, and a black leather jacket. Nothing extraordinary, Dean just pulled it off well.

“Hair?” Jess asked as she leaned against the door frame.

“I was just gonna…” Dean trailed off when he did the motioning of feathering it back.

Jess nodded in approval and handed him the hairspray after.

“Were you gonna wear cologne?”

“Planning on it.”

“Good.”

Dean splashed on some sweet smelling spray and checked the clock on the wall. It read 6:03.

“Shit.” He cursed as he shut off the bathroom light.

He dashed out, unplugged his phone, at  met Jess at the door who handed him his shoes.

He half smiled at her and she smiled back.

“You’re going to have a great time, Cas is going to fall madly in love with you, and hopefully you’ll get laid tonight.”

“I don’t wanna get laid tonight.”

“Dean Winchester,” she began, placing the back of her hand on his forehead with a look of fake concern. “Are you feeling alright?”

“I’m fine.” The Winchester laughed.

“You sure? ‘Cause I’m hearing you say some things I never thought you’d say.”

“Jess, I don’t know what it is about this guy. I just-” He shook his head, searching for the right words. “When I saw him my heart stopped- literally stopped. I could’ve died happy knowing that whoever that guy at the bar was existed. And now here I am, going on a date with him.” Dean then paused before beginning again. “I wanna get to know him, see who he is before we do anything physical.”

“Either you’re growing up, or you’re in love.”

Dean scoffed at the idea of love.

“What? It’s called love at first sight and… well. That’s how I felt with Sam.”

Dean chewed the inside of his lip and prayed that this feeling wasn’t love.

As he walked to his car, he heard Jess yell, “Remember! Eye of the tiger!”

Despite his nerves, Dean managed an amused smile.

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is basically just the entirety of the date. I think it's sorta cute.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun Fact: I also know nothing of romance so this chapter sorta sucks because... I've never actually... been... on a date...

If anyone ever asked Dean about the events leading up to walking into the restaurant, he would lie. He would say he parked, got out of his car, locked it, and then strode through the entrance with the confidence so many people believed he had.

But that wasn't even close to the truth.

What really happened was that Dean parked his car, and sat there. He sat there and listened to the radio and played through endless scenarios of how this date would go. None of the scenarios ended well. There was the one where he spilled spaghetti on Cas’ crotch, one where he accidentally got wine on Cas’ white button up, one where Cas lost interest in Dean and went home with their waiter, and then Dean’s favourite- the one where Cas didn’t show up at all.

But when he looked at his dashboard clock and saw that it read 6:45, he decided that he had stalled long enough and got out of the car to make his way to the entrance of what he hoped was the rest of his life.

“Uh, hi,” Dean started. “I don’t… I don’t have a reservation but-”

“Mr. Winchester?” Asked the host.

Flabbergasted, Dean replied with, “Yes. How did you-”

The other man smiled and nodded his head to the right a little. “Your date informed me of your arrival.” He paused. “Right this way.”

The host lead Dean to a dimly lit corner of the restaurant where Cas, clad in a white button up and jeans, was sitting.  

Dean looked down to hide the blush on his cheeks, partly because Cas looked so good and partly because he assumed that he’d left his date waiting.

“Someone will be out shortly for you.”

Dean nodded and took a seat shyly.

“I didn’t mean to keep you waiting.” Dean said quietly.

Cas laughed. “No no, I’m a very early person. It isn’t that you’re late.”

Dean managed a small smile.

“Oh that’s very convincing.” Cas laughed. “Stop blushing from embarrassment and chewing your lip. You aren’t in trouble.”

Dean did his best to relax, but the longer he looked at Castiel, the more excited he became. He didn’t want to sit here and have some fancy dinner. He wasn’t that guy, and from the look of the man in front of him, neither was Cas.

“You seem distracted.” Commented Cas.

“I am.”

“By what?”

“You.” Was Dean’s first response, and then he saw the blush on Cas’ cheeks, so he followed up with, “And the fact that this place isn’t me. I only suggested coming here because I thought you’d like it.”

Cas leaned forward and folded his hands in front of him. “In all honesty, I’m not the biggest fan of these places. I agreed to come here because I thought it was your favourite restaurant or something.”

Relief spread through Dean’s entire body.

“C’mon. Let’s pay and then find something else to do.”

The pair explained to their waiter the plan and paid for the drinks and entre before exiting the dining place.

“So,” Began Dean. “Whatddya wanna do?”

“Walk.” Responded Cas.

“Walk?”

“Walk.”

“Where?”

The blue eyed man shrugged and took in a deep breath. “Anywhere. Down the road, out of state. I just wanna walk.”

Dean thought about how scarcely he left his house except for work and decided he could use some fresh air himself. So the two men started off down the sidewalk. At first, there was silence. And then Cas spoke up.

“Tell me about your brother.”

Dean shot a confused look at his date. “What? You’re more interested in gigantor than me?”

Cas laughed and shook his head. “No no, that’s not it. It’s just- you seem to really care about him.”

“I do.” Admitted Dean. “Practically raised the kid. See, mum died when we were kids, I was four, and Sammy only six months.”

“What happened?”

“Uhm-”

“Sorry, if it’s too personal.”

Dean shook his head. “It’s fine. But it was a fire. Cops say an electrical one. But after that uh… Dad wasn’t the same. We moved around all the time, and he was never around. I don’t really remember him telling me he loved me. I remember ‘Take care of Sammy’ and ‘Watch out for Sammy’ but no ‘I love you’ or ‘I’m proud of you.’”

“So that’s what I did- took care of him. I raised him as best as could. I made sure he was nothing like me. And I succeeded because he graduated from law school with a girlfriend and is now an up and coming lawyer. I’ve never been so proud.”

“And, where’s your dad now?”

“Back home.”

“Where’s home?”

“Uh, Kansas.”

Cas nodded. “Sounds like a dick.”

“He is.”

There was another silence that prompted Dean to think of his own questions. There were a lot that he could ask, but since he was dying to know and understand, he settled on the one he’d thought of the moment Cas walked away from him when they’d first exchanged numbers.

“What made you want to talk to me?” he asked shyly.

“Why not?” Cas responded.

“Well, I’m nothing special. I’m just… a regular guy.”

His date chewed his lip whilst looking at him. “Maybe I see something extraordinary.”

“And how could you do that?”

“My friends think it’s some supernatural power, but I can just read people.”

“And what do you see in my book?”

“Daddy issues, low self-esteem and image, self-hatred, a history of suicidal tendencies, and an alcohol problem.”

Dean gasped at how blunt, yet spot on Cas was.

“But,” he started again. “I see something so beautiful. A want to help people, a need to give affection and love, a truly beautiful soul. And if you stick around, you’ll see why I need that.”

“Level 10?”

Cas nodded. “Level 10.”

“I don’t like making promises I can’t keep, which is why I don’t make them…” he trailed off. “But I promise I’ll stay to hear level 10. And I never break my promises.”

The slightly shorter man smiled up at Dean through his lashes, an ocean colliding with a forest, and they lost track of time as they walked. Or maybe a more accurate way of describing it was that time lost track of the two lovers.

**~**

Dean didn’t really remember the walk back so much as he remember the laughter ringing in his ears and the smile imprinted behind his eyes. It was one of the best dates he’d ever had and prayed that Cas felt the same way. The thought of not seeing him again was like a knife that kept on twisting and twisting in between his ribs.

Luckily though, the following day, Cas called him with a smile so big that Dean could practically hear it though the phone.

“We’re going out again.” Cas told him.

“Are we?”

“We are.”

“Do I have a say in this?”

“Ehh… Not really.”

Dean giggled. “That’s fine because I was going to suggest the same thing.”

And thus began the rest of Dean’s life.

 


	5. Christmas maybe?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas wants to go to Christmas with Dean. Will he convince his other half to change his mind?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOW THIS IS A SHORT CHAPTER TOO. LEMME POST ANOTHER ONE TODAY.

“Wait,” Cas began. “You aren’t inviting me over for Christmas?”

Dean sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose. “No, it’s- it’s at my dad’s house.”

“So?”

“Dad doesn’t know that I’m...”

“What?” Cas interrupted. “That you’re gay?”

“I am not gay.”

“So what, you just fuck guys?”

“I am bisexual.”

“You currently have a boyfriend.”

“That doesn’t change the fact that I’m interested in women.”

“You sucked my cock last week.”

“And yesterday I stared at a woman’s tits! I still like girls, Cas.”

There was a frustrated sigh on the other end of the line and then a beep noise that signified the other party had hung up.

Dean didn’t really understand why Christmas was such a huge deal to Cas. He assumed that it had to do with the whole level 10 thing, but after nearly a year together, Dean thought he’d had learned about all the bad childhood memories and scars on his boyfriend’s wrist. But he hadn’t.

Dean thought about just going back home and standing his ground on not letting Cas tag along on the dreaded trip back to his fathers house, but after a few very long phone calls with Jess and Sam, one dinner, and a day of debating, Dean drove over to Cas’ apartment and knocked on the door.

Seconds later, Cas stood there in just his boxers.

It’s not like Dean hadn’t seen Cas completely naked before, but the way that his hip bones just barely peaked out of the waistband of his boxers, and the v muscles that disappeared into the black fabric was almost criminal. The distracting sight almost made Dean forget his reason in coming there in the first place.

“Uh, I- I” he stammered. “I was wondering something.”

Cas raised his eyebrows, signifying he was curious.

“I was wondering you wanted to uhm…” He trailed off, squeezing his eyes shut so he could reassure himself of his decision. He exhaled deeply. “I was wondering if you wanted to have Christmas with me.”

The was no response so Dean opened his eyes to find Cas smiling widely, all his teeth showing.

“I’d love to. When do we leave?”

“Tomorrow. So go pack and you can stay the night tonight.”

Cas invited his boyfriend in, who helped pack all the necessary things into a suitcase. They were only staying three days so not too many things were needed.

“Got everything?” Dean questioned.

Cas patted his pockets and did one more check of his suitcase before nodding. “I believe so.”

The couple made their way back to Dean’s apartment.

Cas curled up in bed next to Dean, his slender arm loosely around the Winchester’s waist. Dean was glad Cas could fall asleep so easily because he couldn’t. Dean’s father didn’t know he was seeing anyone, let alone a man. It wasn’t that his father was homophobic… only that he wasn’t going to let Dean be like that. In Dean’s defense however, he wasn’t gay.

Like that’ll matter to Dad, he thought.

Dean fell into a fitful rest and dreamed of all the things that could possibly go wrong on this “vacation.”

 


	6. Level 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Full of sadness, cootness, goodness, merness. Idk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second to last chapter, my friends.

Dean and Cas met Sam and Jess at the airport at the ungodly hours of the morning. None of them were very happy about the time of their flight, but Jess seemed to be functioning like normal.

“How does she-” Cas began.

“I have no idea.” Interrupted Sam.

Regardless of how zombie-like three out of the four of them were, they all made it on the flight and into their seats where they all promptly slept the majority of the flight.

Dean, however, was awoken by turbulence, and Cas, who was no more than half awake, laced his fingers with Dean’s in an attempt to keep him calm. Dean appreciated the effort and focused on the steady pulse he could feel thumping against the top of his hand from Cas’ thumb.

“Ladies and gentlemen,” the stewardess began over the intercom. “Please return your seats to their upright position and fold up all lap trays. We are beginning our descent into Lawrence, Kansas.”

Dean sighed heavily and Cas rubbed his hand.

“Don’t worry. It’ll be fun.”

Dean hoped to God he was right.

****  
  


The four of them pulled up to John Winchester’s ominous house. It wasn’t moldy and dark like you’d expect an ominous house to look like. Instead, it was painted a creamy colour and had pleasant looking shutters on the windows. Only the brothers knew of the dark things that lurked on the other side of the door.

Hurtful words, bruises, and shattered egos hid in the corners of the house.

It was the first time both Dean and Sam had been back since leaving the oil spill that was their dad, and though neither boy voiced it, they were terrified old memories would consume them and they would transform into the shell of the boys they were in their adolescent years.

Both boys took the hands of their better halves and began their walk to the front door.

The doorbell was broken, so Sam was forced to use the lion mouth knocker centered on the door.

He shot a look to Dean who only shrugged.

They waited there for a moment and Dean silently hoped their dad wasn’t home and they could all just stay in a hotel for the rest of the trip. But as he was getting ready to voice this thought, the door opened and there stood the one and only John Winchester.

He no longer smelled of cheap whiskey and cigarette smoke, but the memories of him capture Dean in a choke hold and forced him to smell the scent of his childhood.

Cas squeezed his hand to bring him back down to earth.

“Hey, Dad.” Sam offered.

“Sam.”

“Dad.” Commented Dean.

There was silence from his father and Dean could tell he was eyeing Cas from head to toe.

“May we come in?” Questioned Jess in an attempt to get the scrutinizing gaze off of the eldest Winchester and his boyfriend.

“‘Course.” John said, stepping aside, but never taking his eyes off of the two men before him.

Once inside and settled, Sam looked to Jess and smiled.

“Dad,” he began. “This is Jessica Moore.”

“Nice to meet you.” Jess smiled, holding out her hand.

“Likewise.” John responded, shaking her hand shortly.

“And this is Castiel Novak.” Dean said quietly.

“Hi.” Cas said with a smile, holding his hand out.

John didn’t shake his hand as he’d done for Jess. He instead offered him a cold glare.

Cas looked down.

“Shake his hand, Dad.” Dean said with a voice as cold as his father’s stare.

“His hand?”

The eldest Winchester, along with the youngest and his girlfriend, stared at him with pure disgust in their eyes.

John, sensing the gang, stuck his hand out to meet with Cas’, who barely shook it.

“Boy doesn’t shake with respect.” He commented.

“Maybe because you didn’t offer it to him.” Jess said boldly.

All eyes shot to her, but she never looked away from John’s eyes. She held his gaze with fury that Dean hoped rattled his spine.

As the kids walked out to the rental car to collect their things, Dean thanked Jessica profusely, Sam stared at her in amazement, and Cas did nothing but apologize.

“Cas, it’s alright.” She laughed.

“I’m sorry.” He said again.

No one could see what had brought Cas to knees and forced him to drop his usual personality. But Dean obviously knew that it had to do with his asshole of a father.

Dinner that night passed very uncomfortably. With John staring at Cas in an evil way, Cas barely touching his food, Dean glaring at his father, and Sam and Jess staring awkwardly at the scene in front of them.

After dinner, Dean and Cas quickly escaped upstairs where Cas sprawled out on the bed.

“Cas I-”

“I love you.”

“I- what?”

“I’m going to bed.”

“Your clothes.”

“Help.”

Dean smiled sadly and pressed a gentle kiss to Cas’ forehead. He then unlaced Cas’ shoes and threw them off, slipped off his tie and shirt, undid his belt and then wiggled off his pants.

Dean undressed himself and crawled into bed next to his lover, who pressed his forehead to his back. This touch prompted Dean to flip over and gather up Cas into his arms until they both drifted off to sleep.

****  
  


The next two days passed basically the same way. The only difference was that Cas rarely came downstairs.

“You picked a rude one, Dean.”

“Jess, don’t.” Sam whispered.

Both Dean and John turned to the couple.

“You got something to say to me?” John challenged.

Jess stood up so she was over John, her gaze pure rage and tone nothing but ice.

“As a matter of fact, yes. I’ve been here three days and feel bad for these boys for having to grow up with a man like you around. You aren’t even a man, you’re just a scared little boy who doesn’t know how to cope with his feelings. So he takes it out on his kids. That’s weak. Not to mention, you didn’t even raise Sam!”

“Yes I did!”

“That’s not his story. He says Dean raised him, made him into the man he was.”

“Dean did?” John laughed. “That Dean?” he pointed to his other son.

She nodded. “Thank god he did. I don’t want to imagine what Sam would be like if he didn’t have the guidance of his big brother. Dean was a kid and he did a better job than you ever would. You’re just a dead beat. And I’m so sorry these wonderful boys grew up without your poison latching onto their personality.”

She put as much venom into the last word as she could and stormed off upstairs, Sam following close behind.

Dean glared at his father as he too, stood to go to his room.

“Hey, Cas.” Dean said with a smile.

His smile faded when he entered the room to find his Cas in bed, unmoved since the morning.

“I hate my dad, too.” He commented as he sat on the bed next to him and placed a hand on Cas’ hip.

The other man reached over and laced their fingers together. “I don’t hate your dad.”

“It’s alright. Jess does. Been telling him off since we got here.”

“You wish I would do that?”

Dean laid back and pulled his boyfriend against him. “Nah, you’re good just the way you are.”

****  
  


Christmas Eve finally rolled around. It was the last night they had to spend in Kansas and then on Christmas Day they’d be flying back home. Maybe the trip lasted three days, but everyone thought it felt like three years. The bad blood in the house ruined the Christmas spirit and brought everyone down.

But only one more night. Just one more night and the kids were free.

It should have been easy to get through one night. But John Winchester loved his Whiskey which brought his common sense to zero and lack of manners to negative numbers.

It started at dinner when John was once again, eyeing Cas down.

“Dad, I swear to god if you do not stop-”

“Not my fault you brought home a faggot.”

Dean dropped his fork and looked to his father with fire in his eyes.

“What the fuck did you just say?”

John noticed his tone and smirked at the eldest brothers defiance. Judging by the look in his eyes, it seemed like he took it as a joke. “I said, ‘it’s not my fault you brought home a faggot.’”

Dean let out a heavy breath and without a moments thought, leaped over the table, spilling drinks and knocking over the gravy boat, and let his fist make contact with his father’s cheek. Then his eye, his nose, his cheek again. The punches wouldn’t stop flying.

He only pulled away when the distant sound of Cas’ voice brought him out of the tunnel he’d found himself in again.

Dean admired his work- two black eyes, a bloody nose, and a golfball sized welt on the side of John’s cheek.

“Don’t you ever disrespect him again, understand?”

John muttered something unintelligible.

“I said,” Dean growled, leaning in closely and latching onto John’s collar. “Understand?”

This time John nodded.

Dean seemed satisfied and he stomped upstairs, followed by Cas, Jess, and Sam.

“I didn’t want you to do tha-”

Dean silenced the shorter man with a kiss. “Shhh…”

Cas followed his order.

Within minutes, everyone had their bags and were leaving the house.

They checked into a hotel on Christmas Eve. But it actually ended up being a very good choice.

Dean was running his finger delicately up and down Cas’ spine after the breathtaking bliss that had just transpired between them. Cas sighed and began speaking.

“You’re at level 10.”

Dean halted his movements.

“Don’t stop with that- it’s comforting.”

He resumed so Cas did too.

“When I was 16- no. I have to start at the beginning. My parents are incredibly christian. It was very ridiculous, I didn’t understand, but I loved them, so whatever. There was a boy at my school, Alexander, who had the greyest eyes I’ve ever seen. It was like storm clouds had gotten trapped in his iris’. I fell for him even though I knew my parents would never approve. But I thought that if something felt so good, how could it be wrong?”

“Things were going quite well. Neither of our parents suspected a thing. Until one night when I had Alexander over at my house when my parents were out of town. We were messing around when I heard the front door unlock. My… my bedroom door wasn’t closed- I thought we’d be alone- and they… they saw. Alexander grabbed his clothes and ran. My parents sat down with me and asked me why I was doing that with a boy.”

“I said I didn’t know. My parents asked if I was gay and I said that I thought so. I thought that they would… get over it. They- I was their son. Aren’t they suppose to love me? But anyway, they hated me. I was 16, two years away from graduating, and the two years of my life that were suppose to be a dream, were my worst nightmare.”

“I was beaten and abused. I eventually turned to self harm when I was 17. That’s what those scars are on my wrist, I know you’ve seen them so don’t pretend like you haven’t. I attempted suicide by overdose that same year which is why I don’t take any medication.”

“Dean, you asked me why I talked to you. I told you it was because I could read people. You should know that while that wasn’t a complete lie, it wasn’t the complete truth either. I talked to you because when I looked at you I felt myself believe in love again. When I moved out at 18, I stopped falling in love and my family stopped talking to me. I was unaware of any kind of affection for 6 years and seeing you was what I needed to kickstart my heart. I suppose it was selfish but-”

“It wasn’t selfish.” Interrupted Dean.

“No?”

“Nope.”

Cas smiled. “I love you, Dean Winchester.”

“You sure?”

“Well,” he sighed. “Your father did rip my false confidence to shreds, made me feel completely inadequate, left me with troubled thoughts, he-”

“Does this have a point?”

“The point is, I must love you because I wouldn’t have stayed to put up with that. I’m damn near 26 and I don’t need to be feeling like that again.”

Dean smirked. “Good point.”

“I know.”

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry to whoever read this. I am aware that it sucks. Also, I'm sorry for the abrut ending, I was planning on writing more... but...

When the kids returned home, they had a proper Christmas at Jess and Sam’s apartment. There was pizza, soda, beer, and last minute presents to compensate for the hell they went through in Kansas.

In later years, that Christmas was known as “The Kansas Fiasco.” They were able to laugh about it then and not shiver from the frosty memories.

Around the same time next year, Jess opened a small box addressed to her in fancy handwriting. She cocked her head to the side and fiddled with the bow on top a little, admired the flashy blue and silver wrapping paper, before then looking over to Sam.

“What is it?” She questioned, her eyes narrow.

“Jess,” Dean interjected before Sam could look offended at the question. “Some things are better left a surprise. So open it yourself and see.”

The blonde scrunched up her nose and sighed before slipping off the bow delicately. She’d never liked how the boys ravaged the fine wrapping jobs the others had done, so to spite them, she took her time unwrapping the  mystery gift.

Upon opening the top of the box, Jess gasped and dropped it, letting a thin silver band with three small diamonds on it roll out of its holder and onto the floor.

It rolled in the direction of the younger Winchester who picked it up and crawled over to his girlfriend. He held it next to her finger and let a smile take over one side of his lips.

He glanced up at Jess. “Funny, I knew I loved you the moment I set eyes on you.” He laughed a little. “But I never thought I’d love you this much. You’re one of the kindest people I know, and the only girl I’ve ever introduced to Dean who he actually likes. And that’s saying a lot. I don’t know how we would’ve survived last Christmas without you, and as for my dad, well, without you I don’t think Dean and Cas would still be in one piece.”

“You told me once that without you I would crash and burn. I couldn’t agree more. So, Jessica Moore, would you do me the pleasure of agreeing to marry me, and put up with my family for the rest of your life.”

Jess, who never ran out of things to say, stared at Sam with wide eyes and jaw hanging open.  

“It looks like it’d fit you. Wanna try it on?”

She held out her left hand shakily and let Sam slip the band on her ring finger. As expected, it fit.

“Look at that, a perfect it. Guess it’s meant to be.”

She threw her arms around Sam’s neck, who then took it upon himself to pull her into his lap.

Cas hit his shoulder to Dean’s.

“What?” He said with a little laugh.

“I thought you told him no chickflick moments.”

Dean shrugged. “Sometimes you need them.”

“Oh?”

Cas’ green eyed love stared at him with the definition of wonder trapped in his irises. He nodded slowly. “Yeah.. you do.”

“Well, at least I know your proposal will be sweet like honey and not like motor oil.”

“After what you told me-” he paused and held Cas’ gaze before continuing. “You deserve all the honey in the world.”

Cas looked away with a slight blush colouring his cheeks.

 


End file.
